I'm sorry but I've honestly had it.
I love you but I can't deal with the immaturity.

Not telling me that you're going to be gone for two months when we have no other form of contact? That's where I draw the line. That isn't fair and you know that. It's common courtesy to let the other side of your relationship know that you're going to be on a hiatus.

I'm sorry. I really am.

But I just. I cannot deal with all of this that's been going on lately.
You deserved better anyway.

Maybe someday when you've gotten some more life experience under your belt, we can try again.

But for now, and while I hate to say it, this is the end for us.
Call it taking a break, call it breaking up, whatever name you want to give it.
I'm sorry.

If you want me, you'll have to use LJ.
I can't even keep up with that, let alone this too. (Sorry Zee. Dx;; email me or somethin', chica~)

So, peaceeee.

You make me want to fucking punch babies.

AHHHHHHHH SCHOOL

So my first day of school was today. I'm officially a college freshman.

So I woke up around 730 this morning to pick Caitlin up for 815 to get to school at 9.
I ended up getting stuck in every possible amount of traffic humanly possible, so as a half-asleep Lemon goes driving through town, swearing all the way, she finally gets to Cait's at 825. I was really pissed off lol. And then it took us like..ten minutes to get out of her driveway. =A=;

So we drive up to GCC and I didn't miss the entrance this time, thankfully, and it took us forever to find a place to park to the East building.
So we're walking towards the East building and I hear, "KAAAAAAAAAAATE" and I turn and look to find Helena bounding towards me. We hugged and it turned out that she was in my remedial math course <333 The three of us walked to the class and Cait said that she'd meet me after class to show me where my art classes were going to be.

Helena and I grabbed the last two available seats next to each other and our teacher, Jen, gave us the course syllabus and stuff like that, which she continued to go over for most of the remainder of class. One of the other girls at our table, Alexis, said I looked really familiar, and she had looked familiar to me, as well. She asked me if I went to JFK for middle school and I said yes. "Did you know Danielle Long?" "Yep" "Amanda Fleschig?" "Yep; Lindsay Sanderson and Becca Willard?" "Yeah, I was friends with them" "And Annie too, right?"
Pretty much we'd hung out with the same group of friends and I ended up inadvertantly reuniting with a middle school friend. It was really interesting.
I don't think I'll drop the class now.

Next came Intro to 2-D Design. My teacher is French. He came from someplace south of Paris and was teaching in Quebec to French students, and he has a really thick French accent. He seems a little on the line of nice and not so friendly, so we'll see how it goes.
He dresses really fashionably and clean, he seems like a tidy person, and he just has this air around him that.................well, bluntly, screams gay. When he told us that his wife taught Art History, I was almost taken aback. I KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO JU

DGE PEOPLE BEFORE YOU KNOW THEM, BUT SERIOUSLY. ;___;
Anyway, not only do I need to spend an absolute fortune on art supplies for his class, he also said to expect up to 8 hours of work to be completed outside of class.

I didn't make any friends today in that class. Most of them are guys, actually, and the girls seemed like those stereotypical art students who act really full of themselves. I guess I'll just have to keep to myself, then, which is fine by me. I've done it plenty of times before. I just don't like awkward feelings in my classes...Who knows, maybe I'll be able to make some after all, but for now I think I'll just work by myself.

Cait and I got our books during our break between 2nd and 3rd period at the school store. THEY HAD FRUIT SNAAAAACKS~ so I bought some. They were grape-y and delicious. Then we went to Taco Bell down the street and for TACOSSSSSSSS and it was a nice lunch that we ended up having to eat after Color.

Which actually leads into Color. The class is four hours long, but I discovered that it's only for half a semester, as well. Color will end on October 29th, while my other classes end on December 23rd, I believeeee. Cait is in my class though, so it should be bearable, regardless of the length of class. Oh, and Color is also expected to have up to 8 hours of work to be completed at home. That PLUS my 8 hours of work for 2-D art?

UMMMM, HI, I CAN'T WORK AND SPEND 16 HOURS ON ART AT THE SAME TIME. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PROFESSORS DON'T ACCEPT LATE ASSIGNMENTS. I know I can't get special treatment, but oh my god. Sixteen hours? I barely spent any more than an hour on anything I ever did at the high school. I know, I know, college is different and when you're in college you barely sleep, but I can't work and do that much homework at the same time.
So that means that I'm going to have to talk to Dave tomorrow and see if he can set me up for weekends and Monday holidays only, until Color ends at least, because I won't be able to handle the workload and school has to come first, no buts about it.
If I have to find a different job that can give me that flexibility, then I'll have to do it. I like working a lax job like I have at Rite Aid, but I can't work 25+ hours a week and have so much homework. I don't think my body could be able to handle late nights like that, especially with my immune system, and my English class hasn't even STARTED yet, so who knows how much more time that'll tack on. Math already is another 30mins to 3 hours. >_>;

I haven't been able to talk to Mattie for a few days now, because I've been running myself absolutely ragged and I've had no time to myself. I feel bad. Kur called her on the phone when I got home this afternoon (Color went from 1-2 today, since it was introductory) and she voiceclipped her. "Hi baby, I love you, don't stress yourself out too much," or something like that.

Mhhhsdffgdfhg...I hate being too busy to be able to talk to my own girlfriend. It's retarded. My schedule is too hectic...I really need to find a solution to this.
I feel like crying and it's only been my first day. Hopefully things will get better...

On a lighter note, I've finally begun to write Meeting Again into fic form. Does anyone want to beta for me? I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not that good of a writer, so I want to improve by writing this. I'd really love someone to help me out, since Kaze will probably refuse to read any of the 411 parts of it. 8I

beachbeachbeach

So this was actually my first time going to a beach. It was a lot of fun.
Amber and I had been planning it for a couple of weeks and we finally settled on a date last week.

She and Nate slept over last night and we woke up around 6am to get dressed, go snag some breakfast, and then hit the road to York Beach in Maine.
I went to sleep aroundddd 2am or so, after I fed the cats, changed their water, took a shower, and burned some CDs, which was probably a bad idea because I was really lethargic all day. BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!

So Am woke me up at 615 saying that the alarm never went off and we needed to get going. She went to my room and woke Nate up as well and we all got our stuff together and left the house around 7 or so. We drove to her house to get the stuff we needed for the beach and to try to open her shed so that we could bring the boogie board. She couldn't open the shed so we just decided to forget about it and go.
Stopped at Dunkin Donuts after all of that to get breakfast. I got a yummy mocha coolatta and sausage, egg and cheese bagel, Am got a strawberry coolatta and two donuts, and I can't remember what Nate got other than hash browns and a coffee.

THEN WE GOT ON THE HIGHWAY AND WENT OFF TO MAINE~
We got off on the Kittery exit and went to Yummie's to buy shitloads of candy. I think between the three of us, we spent like... 25$. Poprocks, Spree, Fun Dip, gummy worms, Bottlecaps, GUMMY OCTOPI OMFG, rootbeer barrels, etc. etc. etc. This supply will last us for months.

Traffic was pretty much nonexistent until we hit Ogunquit, so the ride up was nice. I was awake the entire time, haha. While trying to find the Maine Diner, we just ended up going to Wells Beach instead of York Beach. It was really cloudy and every once in a while it would start to sprinkle a little bit, but the waves were pretty good in size and the tide was coming in. I had a lot of fun diving into the waves and having them crash over me and stuff. I felt like a small child, but it was very enjoyable.
The water was ridiculously cold, but it felt really refreshing. There was a lot of seaweed. Nate kept throwing it at me and it'd just stick ;; grossfksdljfsdf
We tried to make sandcastles with the damp sand, but with the tide coming in, it kept washing into them and ruining them. So we just opted to cover my legs and left hand in sand. It looked like I was fapping. ):

We went to the Steakhouse for dinner and it was okay. I got chicken parm and I can't say that it was my favorite thing ever. Especially for like...18$. But whatevah.
We waited in line to get in at 330, when it opened at 4. I had fallen asleep in the car on the 15 minute ride there from the beach, so I was falling over while we were standing waiting, haha;;;;;

THENNNN...we went to Short Sands Beach in York after. And we saw Suky WTFFFFFF. That was the absolute strangest thing ever. He gave us all hugs and asked us how our summers were so far. I guess he, Raeden, Cindy, her brother, and some other kid were staying there in York for the week or something. But still. SO WEIRD.
Nate messed around on the skim board for a while and he and I splashed around in the ocean again, before it started pouring and we had to leave.

I fell asleep again in the car on the way home and Am woke me up when we got to my house. She's going to wash my stuff and bring it back to me tomorrow, I guess.

The entire time we were up there, though, all I could really think of was Mattie. How I want to take her there, play in the ocean with her, share our Poprock kisses, run along the beach, make sandcastles. How much fun it would be if she could be there too. Wondering what she was up to throughout the day, if she was okay, if she missed me. I ended up staring at Am's salad at dinner just thinking and she and Nate got creeped out. (I have this tendency to stop blinking when I'm thinking about things. XD;)
But I want to. I want for her to come see me and to be able to take her to the beaches there. It'd be a lot of fun.

Well, all in all, my first beach experience was fun, even though it was really, really cloudy. I also somehow managed to get sunburnt even with there being absolutely no sun and gray-black skies. (???????????)
I'm now covered in freckles.
Hoping to be able to go back there again soon~

Okay now I need to sleep. I was gonna pull an allnighter, but I'm too exhausted @__@;
Parents come home this afternoon. ffffffffffffIt was nice not having anyone around here while it lasted. Back to the normal annoying, not peaceful life that I'm used to.

Maybe pics from the trip soon~